Monday, December 13, 2010

playing banjo

yo guys
guitar is out
banjo is in.
I dont wanna hear you walking around the quad playing your stupid bob marley and neutral milk hotel covers on your acou-y anymore. (seriously though. stfu)

its banjo time. So break out that ....what, 4 and a half string? and get to finger pickin'
sufjan stevens, hipster banjo, banjo player, indie banjo
do yo thing sufjan

whether its just you and your friends in your williamsburg appt. or your just chilling on the front stoop. play that folk-ish music. play it proud

banjo to heavy and or difficult for ya? try a mandolin or ukulele
the best part about this stupid trend. is that im enjoying the hell out of it.

this guys got the right idea

Thursday, December 9, 2010

ironic shirts

why would you want to wear a shirt that said Hollister when you could look wayy more hip and totally ironic with a shirt that you paid 5 dollars for that says "worlds best grandpa"?
Or if text really isnt your thing, a 90's style nature scene isn't a bad choice either,
come on! deers and wolves always look great on your chest.
if you really wanna take it
that one
if you dont get the reference (which is shocking)
go check out this video and then mosey on over here

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Music You Don't know

To be truely cooler than everyone, you have to listen to the most elite pretentious music that none of your peers have ever listened to - nor enjoyed. This is one aspect of being hip that is going to take some time- or not?
It's called Filter. This lovely website,magazine, and i think they are getting a tv show on mtv?? have taken it upon themselves to be your number one stop in music ratings. For instance they just gave Kanye's new album a 10/10. Filter has RARELY if EVER given out a perfect score, so you already know without listening to the album that kanye's new album is going to be great. So you can go ahead and tell everyone you know that it is.

if you wanna know what these cool guys think is good music . go ahead to here

oh and heres some weird "good music"

OR (here's where it gets tricky) do just the opposite, be so against the grain, your against the people who are against the grain. perhaps "kanye's new album is completely overrated, i have no idea what pitchfork was thinking!"

Great job! you sound knowledgeable and cool.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010


if you dont need glasses. stop wearing them.
i dont want to see your dads reading glasses from the 90's with the lenses punched out on your face. You look absurd, because everyone can tell that you don't need them. You cant just show up one day with insane glasses on and expect everyone to think that you magically just realized you need the most intense prescription ever

hipster cat, glasses cat, hip cat
Whats up hip kitty

Look guys. we cant ALL look like Buddy Holly. its just going to get too confusing.
90's glasses, vintage glasses, hipster glasses

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

American Apparel

Why is it that american apparel is popular. Selling simple clothing isn't anything new. This store definitely started off by selling simple clothes that are "made in america"- but hipsters don't really care about their clothes being made in american, look at converse shoes, those certainly arn't, yet people wear em' all the time!
shoplifting from american apparel, hipsters getting arrested

There is a cycle in play.
1)At first it was that some really cool kids from soho probably walked into this store that had a couple things they liked and noticed how easy it was to steal them. Since they were poor- they did.

2)Those cool kids get there pictures in some trendy magazines, wearing these somewhat plain BUT DISTINGUISHABLE clothes

3) then the rich white kids from the suburbs see these trendy kids ask their parents for money to buy this now over-priced "staple wardrobe items!!"

thus the company stays in business... but not for long.

whoops bankrupt!

Monday, November 8, 2010

Art Shit

 bad photography, hipster art
You go to art school, so you already know. - Hipsters love art shit.
They think they're really talented at whatever, OR they sometimes pretend like their all modest, but thats the hipster attitude of "idontgiveafuck" (which is something completely different and will follow up with a post soon.) But deep down, they think they are the next fucking Dylan, Warhol, Etc.
Usually these kids are swarming more towards the music scene, you know the, play guitar all night long in the quad so everyone can hear how good i am, type.
There's also the writers/poets, (shit they don't even have to rhyme anymore, just need a thesaurus and some bright eyes lyrics)
OH and one of MY favorites , grafitti. Thanks so much for writing something completely illedgible on the side of this brick, i am truely inspired by your work.

However, more recently,(much to my dismay) there has been a huge spike in idiots who think they are good at photography. Andd good new for you aspiring hipsters who havent picked your "art" of choice yet, it has become a piece-of-cake to be "good at photography" you simply need A)The newest model of bottom-of-the-line Digital Single Reflex Camera (the 1 w/ the SuPer co0l big l3nse$ && junk!!) B) your macbook C)Picnik or some equally crappy photo editing program. TADA!!! you are an artist.

So you edit in that "Polaroid" boarder to your photo and turn up the contrast!
A job well done.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Apple Products

We all know by this point that you are probably a middle class white kid even though you pretend not to be. But you also want to be so cool that everyone around notices you and wants to be your friend- cuz your soo cool. You need something that says, look how high-tech and in-the-know i am. This my friend is where apple comes into play.

Hipster iphone

Yeah sure you can rationalize it all you want, "oh i like it because its better for running all these artsy programs i need". But you know that more than half of the appeal of the products is just the clean, white color that suggests that you paid out the ass for it.
Look at all the kids who work at apple stores. they have the thick rimmed glasses and tight pants.
so raise your iphones, macbooks, and ipads high, because lets face it- you love to show it off.