Flannel

While waiting for a band to start playing at the local venue on campus last night, me and a friend noticed something shocking. 7 out of the probably.. 14 people we could see. that is 50% of the people standing around me were in-fact in the hipster uniform.

Look I'm not going to sit here and pretend like I don't wear flannel, but come on? do people really have to wear it every day of their life? I feel like I'm living in the 90s again. (i swear, if they bring back middle parts on men i am going to gouge my eyes out)

I particularly enjoyed walking into the library the other day to discover a professor wearing shirt that included 3 different flannel prints on it. 3!!

please guys, get a new shirt... or a sweater??

Is it because these people are going for a weird homeless man/lumberjack look?
If so, i can't believe that these would be fashion inspiration in 2010.

Fixed Gear Bikes

Hipsters are like the hippies of this generation (except with less moral integrity) It's well known that the hippies vehicle of choice is the VW van - usually decked out with tye-dye flowers etc. Similarly the hipsters have chosen their main mode of transportation which makes for easy sightings.
The fixed gear bike.

urban outfitters solidified this by putting them in their catalog (allowing each hipster to "personalize" the the bike with different colors, making them feel like they are different and stand out from the others). This has allowed the newborn hipsters access to these crappy bikes if they would perfer shell out a bunch of cash rather than go to a few yard sales. build your own over priced bike here!!!!!

For the less manly girls, there is a dilemma. If they were to own and ride a fixed gear, their flowy skirts would ride up , or their would look completely ridiculous hunched over on their way to their local used book store. Because of this, there has also been an uprising of the cruiser bikes, most notably, with baskets. This allows them to still conform to this stupid fad while looking cute carrying their moleskins and pressed flowers in their basket.. thank god.

PBR

Part of being a low class, probably college level, hipster is that you need to appear like you have no money, thus your look of absolute chaos is rationalized, no, thusly made awesome. No one wants to see someone young and deffinetly affluent kid whose parents are paying for his higher education dressing this way, so the hipsters "play the part" of being a close relative to the hobo. This is where PBR comes into play.

Fine, for all of you actually poor college students who think "but no! i just think its the best of the worst!", maybe so. But this disgusting piss-water drink is just another notch in a hipsters belt of cool.

they hold their brews with such arrogance pride that people from yards away can tell the brand of cool ass beer they are drinking.

Cats

Where is a better place to begin than with something that is a undoubtedly the least flawed, love-of-all-hipster's-lives.


i mean check out Hipster Kitty ?!

Cats are the definition of hip; they have a mostly snooty, or perhaps an aloof quality about them. If you ask me their entire attitude simply seems apathetic. They don't care what time of day or night it is or if your trying to get laid, cats want what they want when they want it. (reminiscent of most middle to upper class teens?) Bros hipsters know that they can relate to an animal that is just as lethargic and un-motivated to help socioty in anyway as they are. And sure dogs are popular, but come on. are they really hip?

vs.

come on dog, your clearly looking directly at the camera and just trying to hard in general.
please be more apathetic. now.

I mean most hipsters will admit that cats aren't the only animal they a weird "omfg i love ____ so fuckin much"  obsession with (deer, wolves, etc), but I'm pretty sure they are the only animal actually around hipsters for long enough to be considered the #1 hipster pet.